Saturday, July 20, 2013

feeling a tad mad right now

#‎Caution‬ don't under estimate my lack of emotion. I just try to push on because if you should know how I really feel. You would have a small rip in you bloated heart.do U not understand that it takes a show of extreme tolerance Sometimes not to just smack you in the fu#%ing face . I just don't know where you get off acting as if you have the right! Just because I am barely able to even look at you In a way to show you I am in disgust of who you think you can be towards me.I Speak you laugh as if to say  I am nothing. I am tired of Fu@#ing pretending ,smile of my face.pissed off in my heart, my life has been a roller coaster of Bullsh*t and I am getting fed the fu@# up .... no fu@#ing wonder I am Fu@#ing bi-polar,

Friday, July 19, 2013

Really Depressed RIGHT Now!

I Think I am in trouble. Ya all know that I have #Disabilities I am not sure if yo guys really fully understand how bad I am...for the past year and a half I started having a pain in my lower left hip , beside the tale bone . I brought this up to my #Fibromyalgia specialist and she told me that it was normal.it was the #Fibromyalgia ,and I get that I really do, because I have woke up in the middle of the night crying my eyes out because I broke my hand on the coffee table in the middle of the night,worst pain ever , just to get to the #E.R get #xrays and find out it's fine. it's just your #Fibromyalgia.they said and to get pains in the left breast  so often and bad that they think it is #breastcancer and do a #mammogram to find out ,yep you guess it ,#Fibromyalgia  pain. but this pain  in my lower hip has been there for over a year.and my hands started going numb about the same time, and when I the pain gets so bad I have to stop, and then today ,I walked out side to take pictures of the flowers and I just walked around the yard  I only got to the middle of the yard coming back and i couldn't go any further,the pain is getting so bad ,that  I felt like I was gonna get sick, and  feel to the floor, laid there for about ten minutes. I am scared . I can't even stand for any longer than ten minutes with out the pain. I don't know what to do

Thursday, July 18, 2013

mini apple pies yum!

So OMG! I just had a bad ass mini apple pie.. ok you need to have. 1 can apple pie filling. raw cinnamon rolls , you'll need 1/2 cup flour , 1/2 cup brown sugar, 1/4 cup cold butter .combine flour , sugar and butter until crumbly ,put aside, then roll out cinnamon roll place into a greased cup cake tin and fill with apple pie filling and top with crumb mixture .place in oven for 15 min on 400 and let cool and eat up.
.

McDMonoply

 McDonalds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's back!
 
#McDonald's says, "we're kicking off ‪#‎McDMonopoly‬ with a free code. Enter FORYOURGAME for your chance to win." (Just entered had to type out the code wouldn't work copy and pasted) Enter here: http://www.playatmcd.com/

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

MY LIFE....MY STORY....

THIS IS MY LIFE....................
THIS IS MY STORY...........................

The Pain Will Never End, this I know

I think there is something really wrong with me, I have chronic fatigue syndrome. and I am sleeping my life away . all i remember is in 2005 i had strep throat and it turned into pharyngitis and then into Rheumatic Fever. and ever sense then my  health has been real bad. my weight has sky rocketed  and my over all enuf is gone. not sure when i lost that but my desire to just be in life has gone,I do not want to Kill myself  while i understand why people do . the chronic pain and the sleepiness and the lack of self worth and motivation , not to add that i have not  one single soul to talk to.yeah i can understand why people could just wanna close there eyes and not be afraid of the never waking up part. if you don't suffer from FIBERMYALGIA AND CHRONIC FATIGUE.. than you can't really under stand pain. with people like myself we are in pain all day ever day and we wake up stiff as if we are dead and just to move my joints is like pushing a baby out of the birth canal. i learned to sleep with ever joint  bent because i know that i can not deal with the pain in the morning.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

#CedarPoint

Cedar point !
Taking the kids to the biggest  amusement part in Ohio  

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

TORNADO IN FOSTORIA
This is my side yard today after a tornado went through the town where i live. i was freaking.

this is a picture if  down trees  , we went driving around afterwords to check out the damage.
 Check out the damage of this trampoline of this house..
This house  car and trampoline ....
This tree right into the house and the Rail Bar...


my family is doing fine, amen to that..

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

How It Is Or Was Or What Ever!

Sometimes in life you are gonna find that  just because you think it may be doesn't always mean it is so. not that long ago well 7 years ago  , I was living up in Michigan  and I was going to this therapist and  we were chatting and She was like  so tell me a bit about your self .. so we were chatting and she asked me if i thought i was liked by many  and of course i told her no, she asked me why? i told her people don't like me because i tell it how it is and she replies"do you tell it like it is OR do you tell it like you see it" i sat there for a minute i bet i had the duh face on. but i was like i guess i tell it how is see it.. but i didn't realize up until that minute that she asked me that that  ways what it was...long hard thoughts of yesterdays trying to creep op on my tomorrows

Monday, July 8, 2013

s
       So as all of you know .I sleep apnea ,this here  is my sleep buddy, going on my third night,  it is kinda making my face irritated ,I sure hope that stops, but as far as feeling better the only thing i noticed is i get up at 6 am again and that i feel a little better .but they told me it will take a while 44 times a hour i stop breathing, i am going to do this checking in every day  and then once a week  ,wish me luck I am getting sleepy .meds are kicking in..

~~~Being Strong~~~





another night Sleeping with Mr -Pap

So I am getting woke up sometimes at night with this machine pushing  air into my lungs, but i have realized that  both days now I have been up at 6:00 am  .do you know how long it has been  Wow my eternal alarm clock was outta whack, but  days yippee you all proubly are thinking what is their to be getting excited about , but if you live with this condition Sleep Apnea you could understand.it feels good.   

Also if you are living with health problems like I am here is a site you may enjoy 

http//:patientslikeme.com

Sunday, July 7, 2013

So sleepy

So say Hi to Mr-Pap< my new bed buddy....

So this is what the Dr gave me for my Sleep Apnea  I do wonder if this is all I have, because my life has been a whirlwind of HELL  So extremely tired all the time. I even have sleep attaches. I am not 100% sure this is  gonna fix me but they said it will help

So tired all the time and  gaining weight form lack of energy.
I have tried to talk to the doctors but they can put a finger on  it. but maybe it is just this , hope full  .

Sleep Apnea & Me

So found out that i have sleep apnea . they say this might be the problem of my chronic sleepiness well received my C-pap machine we will see stay tuned for the results #SleepApena

today is a new day

So check this out , figure which one are you,,