The Pain Will Never End, this I know

I think there is something really wrong with me, I have chronic fatigue syndrome. and I am sleeping my life away . all i remember is in 2005 i had strep throat and it turned into pharyngitis and then into Rheumatic Fever. and ever sense then my  health has been real bad. my weight has sky rocketed  and my over all enuf is gone. not sure when i lost that but my desire to just be in life has gone,I do not want to Kill myself  while i understand why people do . the chronic pain and the sleepiness and the lack of self worth and motivation , not to add that i have not  one single soul to talk to.yeah i can understand why people could just wanna close there eyes and not be afraid of the never waking up part. if you don't suffer from FIBERMYALGIA AND CHRONIC FATIGUE.. than you can't really under stand pain. with people like myself we are in pain all day ever day and we wake up stiff as if we are dead and just to move my joints is like pushing a baby out of the birth canal. i learned to sleep with ever joint  bent because i know that i can not deal with the pain in the morning.

#CedarPoint

Cedar point !

Taking the kids to the biggest  amusement part in Ohio  

TORNADO IN FOSTORIA

This is my side yard today after a tornado went through the town where i live. i was freaking.

this is a picture if  down trees  , we went driving around afterwords to check out the damage.

 Check out the damage of this trampoline of this house..

This house  car and trampoline ....

This tree right into the house and the Rail Bar...


my family is doing fine, amen to that..

How It Is Or Was Or What Ever!

Sometimes in life you are gonna find that  just because you think it may be doesn't always mean it is so. not that long ago well 7 years ago  , I was living up in Michigan  and I was going to this therapist and  we were chatting and She was like  so tell me a bit about your self .. so we were chatting and she asked me if i thought i was liked by many  and of course i told her no, she asked me why? i told her people don't like me because i tell it how it is and she replies"do you tell it like it is OR do you tell it like you see it" i sat there for a minute i bet i had the duh face on. but i was like i guess i tell it how is see it.. but i didn't realize up until that minute that she asked me that that  ways what it was...long hard thoughts of yesterdays trying to creep op on my tomorrows

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       So as all of you know .I sleep apnea ,this here  is my sleep buddy, going on my third night,  it is kinda making my face irritated ,I sure hope that stops, but as far as feeling better the only thing i noticed is i get up at 6 am again and that i feel a little better .but they told me it will take a while 44 times a hour i stop breathing, i am going to do this checking in every day  and then once a week  ,wish me luck I am getting sleepy .meds are kicking in..

~~~Being Strong~~~